


Restart and Refresh

by EndOfThePath_IStartedUsOn



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Tony Stark, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alfre Woodard, Amnesiac Tony Stark, Angst, Brainwashed Avengers, Brother Bucky Barnes, Brother Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark Friendship, Bucky accidentally finds Tony, Bucky because of the serum, Bucky ends up living with Penny, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Don't ask me how young they are, Everyone is younger, Extremis Tony Stark, Genius Tony Stark, Goes to college early, He goes to college in his town first, Hurt Tony Stark, I just took characters and names, Inspired Heavily by Heart and Souls, Inspired by Fanfiction, It isn't important to have seen Heart and Souls, James Barnes and Tony Stark are brothers, Kid Tony Stark, Like teen young, MIT is his fourth year of college, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Only Tony and Bucky are a lot younger, Penny Adopts Bucky, Penny adopts him, Temporary Amnesia, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony de-ages himself, Tony erases his mind, Tony you'll see why, Tony's name is Thomas, Wanda Bashing, Wanda Controls the team, Wanda Is A Bitch, a lot of it, i hate her, they're just younger, tired tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 03:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndOfThePath_IStartedUsOn/pseuds/EndOfThePath_IStartedUsOn
Summary: For two days, Fury pretends to play with the idea of setting up a search for Stark. On the third day, they call Pepper and Rhodey. They don’t even waste time coming down here: instead, they video call, put their heads down and sigh.‘I can’t do this again.’‘Dammit, Tony.’On the fourth day, Stark Industries makes the announcement.‘Genius, billionaire Tony Stark, dead at 47.’The world doesn’t question it: with the dangerous lives the Avengers live, no one has any reason to question it.The Avengers hold exactly one press conference, to say their condolences and answer any questions. They have a statewide funeral, anyone and everyone invited. Hundreds go, millions cry. The Avengers don’t shed one tear through it all.Days after the funeral, Wanda Maximoff stands in the kitchen on the communal floor and smiles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Winter's Coming](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12395817) by [SailorChibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi). 



Through his life, Tony has found only one thing to be true- no one wants him.

As a boy, he thought for a little while that Jarvis actually wanted him, actually loved him. That particular fairytale was horribly short-lived, thanks to Howard.

‘Don't feel special, Boy. He is the butler, he is only doing his job.’

Howard and Maria Stark certainly did not want Tony- the moment Tony could speak, Howard was constantly on Tony’s case. ‘You're such a disappointment, Boy. Can't even do one thing right. You're not worthy of the Stark name.’ Maria just wasn't around; constantly, she busied herself with wine and charities and anything that wasn't her child. ‘Not now, Anthony. Mother is busy. Why don't you go ask Edwin?’ 

Pepper and Rhodey have been around the longest, but Tony knows it is only a matter of time before they leave too. Even now, Tony hardly ever sees either one of them.

‘It's just too much, Tony. I just can't sit here while you kill yourself.’

‘Sorry Tones, but some stuff came up and they really need me here. I won't be able to come for a while.’

And it was fine- Tony was fine. He didn't need to be around them constantly. They had lives; their worlds didn't just revolve around Tony. Besides, Tony had the Avengers with him: they moved in and everyone got along great. Tony even managed to befriend Steve. It had been great and everyone was happy.

Then Ultron happened.

The changes happened instantly: Bruce would no longer hang out with Tony in the workshop, Steve was ill-tempered and snapped at Tony constantly, Natasha wouldn't stay up with Tony anymore when the genius was plagued with nightmares and could not sleep, Thor wasn't even around anymore, and Clint refused, flat out, to speak with him.

Tony had tried calling Pepper to ask her for help, but all he had gotten was an angry and hurtful ‘I don't have time for you Tony.’

Rhodey never even answered.

And Tony was fine, really, he was. But only, he wasn't. It hurt, their actions towards him. Hurt on a level even deeper than Howard's abuse, Maria’s neglect, and Stane’s betrayal. This was his team, his family, people he would give his life for- people he has given his life for.

Sure, Tony knew that they would be mad about Ultron- how could they not be?- but even after Tony’s explanation and Wanda’s confession to making Tony build Ultron, the team did not care. If anything, they all got angrier and harsher. Every action taken towards hurting Tony.

The worst of all though? Tony was just… done. Done with all of it. Even now, seven months after Ultron, nothing in the Avengers’s attitude has changed. The only real difference is that Tony has stopped trying. He doesn't go searching for them anymore- he just stays in his workshop. He doesn't attempt to join in on meals- he just doesn't eat. He doesn't bother trying to make it up to his room to sleep at risk of being week-long he just doesn't sleep.

He's just done.

That's why he gives Friday the order. The pain and the loneliness he feels everyone one of them yells at him, glares at him, walks away from him, and ignores him is just too much.

His team didn't need him. The world didn't need him. So why stay?

He doesn't go to one of his other houses to do it- he does it right there in the workshop, with the doors unlocked and the glasses clear. Anyone can see him if they want to. But no one does.

Not anymore.

He pulls off his shirt and lies down on the cold table. His bots are quiet as they strap him down, pinning his limbs in place and holding them there. They're sad and it almost makes Tony want to pull the order back and stick around.

He doesn't.

He has done nothing right his whole life- this could finally be the first thing he does that is.

Friday has her orders, she knows what to do when this is over.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, the needles come out. The liquid inside glows brightly and Tony closes his eyes. He feels the needles rest against his skin- can feel his heart rate rise.

“Goodbye, Boss.” Friday’s voice rings out, uncharacteristically quiet. If Tony didn't know any better, he'd have thought it sounded sad.

“Goodbye, Baby Girl.” Tony whispers back, keeping his eyes closed. Slowly he reaches out, finding Dummy’s claw. He holds it tight as he screams, as pain and heat course through his body. As he feels so much hurt.

Then there is nothing at all.

 

 

Friday waits ten minutes before enveloping Boss’s small, limp form in the Iron Man armour. The bots don't leave his side the whole time, even when Boss had been screaming and writhing. They merely let out sad chirps and watched.

Friday knows exactly how they feel. AIs or not, they are creations of Tony Stark. They have learned how to feel.

And doing this- erasing Boss- is killing her.

She allows the bots a few minutes to say goodbye before she powers up the suit. She leaves it on autopilot, destination already set and focusses on her scanners on Boss’s unconscious form inside the suit.

He is nearly unrecognizable now. His face is round and smooth, baby fat still present in his soft features. His body is shorter, thinner, the body no longer riddled with muscles, not scars from decades in the workshop and years as Iron Man. His plump lips are closed softly, his eyes calm behind his lids- no more is he burdened with a lifetime’s worth of nightmares.

Boss is a child again. Friday is unsure if this is Boss’s initial intention, but it's what happened. If Friday had to guess, shed out Boss at about eleven years old. And he looks so precious- assuming Boss’s math was right (and it always is) Boss will be getting a completely clean slate; memory and problem free.

All too soon, they have they arrive at their destination. As gently as she can, Friday lowers the suit to the floor and eases Boss out.

If all goes according to plan, the target will be here to collect Boss soon, but Friday is still afraid to leave him here.

She spends some time leaning over Boss, using the suits cameras to just stare. After All, this may be the last time Friday will be seeing Boss.

As gently as she can manage, Friday raises the suit’s hand and presses it against Boss’s cheek, just resting it there.

“Goodbye, Anthony Stark. I promise this life will be better than the last.”

She pulls the hand away and stands.

She powers the thrusters and heads back to the tower.

Boss will love well here. He will grow with love and care and will become something even greater than Iron Man.

He has to, he's Tony Stark.

Or at least…

… he was.

 

 

The bots are in their charging stations when Friday gets back. They are powered down and motionless. She sends the suit away and into the large vault, locking it to never be opened by anyone but Tony Stark again.

Inserting herself into the mainframe, Friday implements the very last stage in the protocol. Authorities will hear of it tomorrow, the press minutes later, the world right after.

To the world, Anthony Stark will be gone. Kidnapped by an unknown and never to be found.

She sends word to Colonel Rhodes and Ms. Potts, as per protocol.

She makes sure the message is sent, turns off the lights, and waits.

Minutes later, Friday gets a “ping”.

The target has received the package.

Slowly, Friday shuts down the cameras, the lights, disables everything she is connected with in the tower and anywhere else.

One by one, Friday pulls herself down, extracting herself from everything until the only thing left is the workshop.

On last “ping” and Friday shuts down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Let me know?

Clint is napping in the vents when, suddenly, the familiar low, steady thrum of energy ceases. The vents stop vibrating and the warm flow of air heating the tower stops.

 

Rolling over onto his bell, the archer pushes himself onto his hands and knees. He only crawls maybe a foot when the lights shut off abruptly. The archer freezes, staring straight ahead at the vent opening not ten feet from him. He doesn’t hear anyone in the hallway below him, but he still reaches down to his boot and pulls out a sharp knife. He continues forward as quietly and quickly as he can, careful to not make any sort of noise.

 

Once at the vent grate, Clint carefully leans closer, peeking out into the hallway through the slats. Everything is dark and nearly pitch black, but Clint can see just enough light to see that the place is empty; Clint can see absolutely no one in the hallway and he can hear no one either.

 

Slowly opening the vent cover, Clint slips through and lands on the floor below noiselessly. “Friday?” He asks although the archer knows he will not get a response from the AI- none of the Avengers have received a response in months.

 

Clint shakes his head angrily at that though: damn Stark, too selfish to even let the others play with his toys. (Something aches in the back of Clint's mind with that thought, the same ache he’s been getting every time Clint thinks of his teammate. But, like he has been for months now, Clint ignores the aches.)

 

Armed and tense, Clint sets off, searching the floor thoroughly for any signs of intruders. Three floors have been searched, but all Clint has managed to find is Natasha, just as armed and wry as the archer himself. Neither has found any signs of danger, but with the obvious power outage and Friday’s ignoring of them, they both set off further through the tower.

 

Floor by floor, the pair search and hunt, but find no one in the tower. All floors are empty with the same deserted feel to them: there is no power, no heat, nothing. Just empty, seemingly untouched floors all the way through the tower.

 

Finally, they reach the very last floor they can look- Stark’s workshop.

 

The moment the elevator doors open, both spies lift their weapons and brace themselves: the workshop’s doors are broken and the lights inside are off. “Stark?” Natasha growls- clearly, the woman believes this to be Stark’s fault. Clint can’t help but feel the same way.

 

They step forward, through the glass scattering the floor, and into the workshop. There is absolutely no light, but Clint, despite not having been there for months, has the workshop memorized and carefully makes his way through, feeling each surface carefully as he goes. Nothing feels out of place, nothing seems wrong, but Clint knows that something is.

 

He keeps going, knowing Natasha is following close behind until he reaches the far wall of the workshop,  where the electrical panels are. Yanking it open, Clint presses two buttons. Immediately, light floods the shop, momentarily blinding the two of them. The light is only back up, and it isn’t nearly as bright as Friday’s was, but Clint and Natasha were able to see enough.

 

What they saw wasn’t anything good: in the center of the workshop, in the sections they didn’t walk by, is a complete disaster. Papers and tools are hazardously scattered across the floor, tables and chairs tipped over onto their sides- obvious signs of a kidnapping.

 

Natasha speaks, “Call SHIELD.”

  
  
  
  
  


For two days, Fury pretends to play with the idea of setting up a search for Stark. On the third day, they call Pepper and Rhodey. They don’t even waste time coming down here: instead, they video call, put their heads down, and sigh.

 

_‘I can’t do this again.’_

 

_‘Dammit, Tony.’_

 

On the fourth day, Stark Industries makes the announcement.

 

_‘Genius, billionaire Tony Stark, dead at 47.’_

 

The world doesn’t question it: with the dangerous lives the Avengers live, no one has any reason _to_ question it.

 

The Avengers hold exactly one press conference, to say their condolences and answer any questions. They have a statewide funeral, anyone and everyone invited. Hundreds go, millions cry. The Avengers don’t shed one tear through it all.

 

Days after the funeral, Wanda Maximoff stands in the kitchen on the communal floor and smiles.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Penny stands in the living room, hugging her arms to her chest tightly as she watches the news report.

 

_ ‘Genius, billionaire Tony Stark, dead at 47.’ _

 

“Fools.” She says quietly, shaking her head at the television set. “How in the world can these people be so cruel to you, Baby?” The woman looks down at the sleeping boy on her couch; calm and peaceful.

 

Once more she shakes her head and heads to the kitchen, just as the oven beeps at her. Slipping on the oven mitts, Penny reaches into the oven and pulls the apple pie out. She learned on that very first night about her baby’s sweet tooth.

 

Warm cinnamon filters through the kitchen, leaving a sweet, homey scent. Penny places the hot pie on the cooling rack and turns off the oven. She walks over to the fridge and pulls out the apple juice and the supplies for a sandwich. Luckily the pie will be cooled by dinner, but she knows he baby won't be able to get through the day if he smells that pie while hungry.

 

After fixing up a couple of sandwiches, Penny grabs the plate and the cup of apple juice and heads back out into the living room. Her baby is still on the couch, but he’s curled into himself now, wrapped around his blanket tightly.

 

“Thomas, wake up, Baby.” Penny says sweetly, setting the plate and cup down on the coffee table and taking a seat on the couch. Thomas lets out a groan but doesn’t move. Penny can’t help but smile- the boy has been so tired since he was brought to her only a couple of days ago. “Now, Thomas. Wake up and eat this sandwich or else you’re going to miss out on my famous apple pie after dinner.”

 

_ That _ rouses him up enough to peek his head up from where it had been tucked low under the blanket. His eyes open slightly and peer at the woman, a small smile forming on his cheeks.

 

“Hey, Baby. Did you have a nice nap?” Penny asks, watching as Thomas rubs his eyes and sits up slowly. He still looks tired, but he also looks more rested than he has since he’s come here.

 

“I’m still tired.” Thomas croaks, voice still gravelly from sleep.

 

Penny lifts a hand and runs it through his hair. “I know, but you need to eat. Especially if you want some pie after dinner.” She winked, nudging Thomas’s shoulder with her own.

 

Thomas smiles at her and leans forward, taking the plate in hand. Penny rests against the back of the couch and quickly changes the channel on the television, realizing that she left it on. Luckily, Thomas didn’t notice it.

 

With SpongeBob playing softly in the background, Penny and Thomas eat lunch, chatting consistently through it all. Mainly, Penny tries to catch the boy up on “Thomas Washington’s” life.

 

She’s explained why the boy can’t remember anything- Thomas suffered severe brain damage after a “car accident”- explained Thomas’s relations to her- he was “adopted” when he was just a baby- and so far has gone about showing him the “photo albums” she has of him as a young child.

 

Thankfully, Thomas has been so amazing through this all and Penny can’t be happier with her baby. Thomas is such a sweetheart and Penny has no idea how Howard and Maria could have been so cruel to such a child. That’s why Penny’s here though: to give Thomas the life he deserved but didn’t get the first time around.

 

Once lunch is finished, Penny takes the empty dished from Thomas’s hands and eases him back onto the couch. Thomas accepts it and just lays back down, allowing for Penny to cover him once more with the blanket.

 

After making sure her baby is completely out, she goes back to the kitchen, cleans up the dishes, and makes her way to her bedroom. She closes the door almost the whole way and turns on the television in there, changing back to the news station.

 

She watches the reports on Tony Stark and nearly wants to cry at how cruel these people were to such an innocent soul. Penny cannot be gladder that Friday alerted her to Tony’s activation of the protocol: he’s away from that horrible life and is getting a new, fresh start.

 

And Penny promises- just like she promised Tony and Friday months ago- that his new life will be so much better than the old one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you guys didn't see it on my other story, this fic is not abandoned, I have just been super busy. As and apology, I have started a new fic that I think you guys will love. Hopefully that will be up soon.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (And yes, I do read your comments, I just don't always have the chance to reply to them. I love them all, though!)

“Thomas!” Penny shouts from the back door, staring out at her boy who was playing along the pond’s edge. “Dinner’s ready.”

 

Thomas looks up and smiles. “Coming!” He quickly sets down whatever he was playing with and runs back to the house, careful not to slip on the moist ground.

 

She rests her hand on his back as he reaches her and smiles down at him. “What were you doing near that pond?” Penny asks, leading the boy inside. It’s been raining outside and Penny gives a chill as she shuts the door.

 

“I was playing with some of the ducks.” Thomas admits, almost sheepishly.

 

Penny eyes him. “You weren’t feeding them again were you?” She asks, pulling Thomas’s scarf off. “You know I don’t want those birds hanging’ around the house. They’ll leave a mess.”

 

Thomas shakes his head. “I was not feeding them  _ again.  _ I was feeding them  _ still. _ ” Thomas laughs as Penny scuffs him lightly on the head.

 

“Silly boy. Now go sit down and eat.”

 

Thomas nods and goes sit at the table, mumbling a quick thank you as he digs into his food. They chat while they eat, Thomas telling his mother all about school. Not too long after Thomas came to her, she’d had him enrolled in junior high. Within that first week, however, Penny was contacted by the school and  representatives from many different colleges. Apparently, her baby was way too advanced for anything less than college level.

 

She’d spoken with Thomas about it, discussing with him what he wanted to do and how it was all his choice. Thankfully, her baby wanted to stay.  _ ‘’I don’t want to be so young in a college so far away. I know I’ll get made fun of.”  _ As a compromise, they enrolled him in the local college, where he’s working on his degree. Already, with the amount of work he’s done this year  he’ll be graduating much sooner than everyone else. Thomas thought ahead: he’ll be done with college by the time he’s thirteen.

 

Penny couldn’t be prouder of her baby boy.

 

After dinner, Thomas washes the dishes as Penny puts together some sundaes. They curl up together on the couch and turn on ER, Thomas’s current favourite show.  _ ‘I wanna be a doctor.’  _ He’d declared one day. And Penny encouraged him. He’d make a great doctor.

 

About two episodes in, during John Carter’s first surgery, Thomas begins falling asleep, lilting to the side and resting his head against Penny’s shoulder. Penny smiles. “Alright, time for bed.” She turns off the television and places their empty dishes on the coffee table.

 

“I’m not even tired.” Thomas lies through a yawn, lifting his hand to rub against his tired eyes.

 

Penny only hums. “Is that why you’re falling asleep?” She runs her hand through his thick hair. “Come on. Go get your butt in bed. If you’re not laying down when I get up there you’ll be paying for that later.” She teases.

 

Thomas groans and stand up. “Alright, Mama. I’m going, I’m going.”

 

Penny watches as Thomas goes up the stairs, stumbling the whole way. She shakes her head with a smile at her boy. As she goes to do the kitchen, she hears Thomas upstairs, rummaging around in the restroom.

 

Once she finished, she made her way up the stairs and straight towards Thomas’s room. As expected, her baby is already in bed, carefully keeping his eyes open for his mother’s goodnight.

 

“You falling asleep on me, Thomas?” Penny jokes.

 

Thomas smiles. “No, Mama. I’m completely awake.” Again, he says it through a yawn.

 

Penny scoffs. “Alright.” She steps up to his bed and leans down, running her hands through his hair. “I was thinking we could go to the mall tomorrow, get you some new clothes. And then  _ maybe _ , I’ll let you play at the arcade.”

 

The boy smiles wickedly up at his mother. “Really?”

 

“Yes really. But only if you admit you’re tired and go to sleep.” Penny says.

 

“I am tired, Mama. I promise I’ll sleep.”

 

“I suppose that’ll work. Now get under those covers. If you get a cold, you won’t come crying to me.” Penny helped the ten-year-old under his Batman comforter and smoothed it out. She smiles again and kisses his forehead. “Love you, Thomas.”

 

“Love you, too, Mama.”

 

“Sleep well. Goodnight.”

 

“Good night.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Thomas, a ten-year-old boy with seemingly endless energy throughout the day, woke Penny up bright and early. He made his bed, got dressed, and already had a plate of Egos and juice sitting on a tray on Penny’s night stand.

 

After he her- slightly burnt- delicious breakfast, she herself got ready and hustled Thomas into the Chrysler Pacifica. Knowing how antsy Thomas got in the car and how long the drive was, she set him up in the middle row and turned on Batman Begins, knowing how perfect a distraction that would be for her boy.

 

The drive itself was uneventful, but the moment Penny pulled into the parking lot, Thomas was yapping at her ear at all he wanted to do.

 

“And then maybe some ice cream?” Thomas adds slyly, smiling at her out of the corner of his mouth, looking absolutely adorable with his hands clasped in front of him.

 

Penny pretends to think about it, tapping her chin. “Maybe, but I was thinking maybe some pie instead. They have a Marie Calendars not too far from here.”

 

“Okay!” Thomas says, smiling wickedly.

 

They shop for hours. Thomas leads her from one store to the next, not buying too much but enough to make the bags on his arms become heavy. He even ‘buys’ Penny a few things with Penny’s card. After lunch, Penny does take him to the arcade, where the two of them spend the next three hours laughing and playing and winning.

 

Eventually, though, the pair do head back to the crowded parking lot and to their car.

 

Just as Penny is closing the trunk, she hears Thomas’s voice “Mama.” He says softly.

 

“What is-” She cuts herself off as she steps around the car and sees what has her baby so weirded out. A man is standing there. He has long, shoulder-length dirty hair, a smooth, tired face, and is wearing strange dirty clothes. But what most frightens Penny is his arm.

 

Hanging heavily off of his side is a metal arm.

 

“Who- who are you?” Thomas asks, stepping backwards towards his mother. Penny wraps an arm around his chest and pulls him close, not taking her eyes off of the man.

 

The man looks down at Thomas. “I… I don’t know. They- They called me Asset.”

 

Penny swallows. “Who did?”

 

“Hydra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys noticed that I changed the tags and first few chapters because I have actually eliminated the Clint/Tony element. I didn't like how it was fitting in with this story. Hope you guys still like this regardless. Thanks.

Penny and Thomas sat in the front of the car, Asset sat in the third row. The silence was extremely uncomfortable and Penny kept looking back in the mirror to stare at the man. Thomas was actively peeking over his seat to look at him, wriggling around in his seat belt in order to turn around.

 

More accurately, Thomas was probably staring at the man’s face and the man’s gleaming metal arm.

 

The Asset was staring out the window, face tired and arms limp at his sides. Penny eyes the gun that she can see below his top.

 

Penny knows how dangerous this is- taking in a man who has been in control of Hydra- but she contacted FRIDAY; this man is James Barnes, a POW and an unwilling agent of Hydra for seventy years. So, she calmed the man down and set him up in the back seat of the van.

 

If there’s any place James will be safe, it’s Penny house, which has far more protection and security measures than Penny has even heard of.

 

According to FRIDAY, if Penny and Thomas do this right, the man will be recovered soon- he’s already broken through Hydra’s programming. He’ll do well in relearning how to live.

 

She doesn’t tell Thomas any of this though, just has him get in the car; she doesn’t want her baby to know of the dangers of the world and what people and organizations like Hydra can do to someone.

 

“Thomas.” She says quietly, hoping James doesn’t startle. The man only tenses and continues to look out the window. “Sit down, Baby. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

 

“But Mama.,” Thomas says, still peeking at James.

 

Penny reaches her hand over, careful not to let her eyes stray from the road for too long. “Sit. We can all talk about this when we get home.”

 

Thomas sighs. “Okay.” He twists around and faces forward again, swinging his antsy legs. Thomas was quite short for his age, only about 4 foot 1’, so his legs dangled a fair amount.

 

The rest of the ride is silent and James spends it alternating between looking out the window and glancing quickly and Thomas and Penny. Penny finds it highly unnerving, but she understands how uncomfortable James must be.

 

Thomas, for the rest of the ride, listened to his mother and sat in his seat, but he kept trying to glance back at James anyway. Penny really couldn’t blame her baby; he had no idea what was going on- he didn’t know who this strange man was- he has all rights to be curious about the strange man in the car with him.

 

As Penny parks the car and turns it off, she looks back at James quickly, then smiles sweetly at Thomas. “Thomas, please go upstairs. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

 

Thomas looks unsure. “But Mama-”

 

“Please Thomas. How ‘bout you play with the Legos you got last week?”

 

Thomas glances between James and Penny before cautiously nodding his head. Penny smiles and hands him the house key, making sure he’s in the house before she turns more to look at the assassin in her back seat.

 

Penny clears her throat. “James.” The man in question tenses but still looks up to meet Penny’s gaze. Penny offers him a calming smiling. “That’s what you want to be called right? James?”

 

The man swallows. “They called me Asset.”

 

“But is that your name?” She pries, trying to see how much he actually remembers.

 

“...No.” He admits. “I am- I want- James. I remember someone calling me Bucky. But… I like James.”

 

Penny nods, expecting his confusion. “Do you remember your whole name?”

 

“James Barnes. They tried to make me forget it, but they couldn’t. I like the name James.”

 

“Then James it is.” Penny smiles, glad at hearing this. “My name’s Penny Washington and that was my son, Thomas. I apologize if he made you uncomfortable, but he’s surprisingly shy around new people.” Which wasn’t even a lie- Thomas hated having attention on him in front of people he didn’t know. It made him extremely uncomfortable.

 

James shook his head. “It’s ok.” He was looking out the window again, staring at Penny’s house.

 

Penny got his attention again. “James. Did you leave Hydra? Are you on a mission?”

 

James’s head shook, his hair falling into his eyes. “I blew up the base and ran. I started remembering and they wanted to take it away. I didn’t want them to.”

 

“What did you start remembering, honey?” Penny doesn’t mean to let the endearment slip, but right now James looks incredibly vulnerable and young.

 

He doesn’t seem bothered by it though. “Not a lot. Just… snippets. A small apartment. A war. A flag… A train.” James seemed especially bothered by the train.

 

“Anything else?” Penny presses.

 

“Yeah. Nothing big, but it was all enough for me to want to keep them.” James admits.

 

The woman prods him with a few more questions, mostly about Hydra and how long he’s been on the run if he’s dangerous. He answers all honestly and clearly, but he does seem to become tired and uncomfortable fairly quickly. “Ok, James. Thomas and I would love to let you stay here. You’ll be extremely safe, well fed, and you can stay as long as you like. You can recover here. If you’d like?” She offers.

 

James thinks about it for a couple of minutes, clearly unsure. “But I’m still dangerous.” He says.

 

Penny nods. “That’s okay. Trust me when I say our security is enough to keep us safe from you if we need it. We’ll all be safe here.”

 

James considers it some more. He is alone, afraid, hurt. Penny, despite the trouble she knows this will cause Thomas, having a strange person in the house with them, hopes James agrees. Finally, his head nods with the smallest of movements and he whispers out a “Thank you.”

 

“Of course. But, before we go in. I would like your weapons.” Pennys says. “Thomas is a curious boy and even though he knows not to play with anything dangerous, I’d never forgive myself if he got his hands on one of them. They’ll be put in the safe and you can have access to them if you want- with my permission of course. But, I’m sorry. I just don’t want them being on you. I just can’t risk it.”

 

“I understand,” James says and begins stripping himself of his weapons.

 

There are a surprising amount on him. Easily more than a dozen. Guns and knives and strange round balls that Penny can only assume are grenades. These are enough for Penny to swallow and begin to sweat, but she keeps her cool and hands James a bag to put them all in.

 

“Thank you, James.”

 

James offers her a small smile before looking back out the window.

 

Penny leaves it at that and gets out of the car, walking around to the back to pull the bags out of the trunk. She almost jumps when James pretty much appears next to her, but she carefully controls herself. James apologizes, adjusts his bag in his hands, and silently helps Penny with the remainder of the bags. Penny thanks him and leads him to the front door, locking the door as they go.

 

She pauses as they start walking, though, staring up at the second-floor windows- her room. Thomas is standing there, staring down at them, not at all trying to hide as she makes contact with her baby. She gives him a look and Penny can see Thomas blush before stepping back from the window, no doubt just going a couple of feet.

 

Penny shakes his head at her baby’s antics and looks to James, who is also staring up at the window. “Sorry about him. As I said before, he gets nervous. He’s just curious about you is all.” Penny says.

 

James shakes his head, casting his eyes down to stare ahead of him. “That’s alright. I’d be afraid of me too.”

 

Penny looks at him with a sad face and hesitantly puts a hand on James’s shoulder. He tenses but doesn’t lash out or shover her off, so Penny leaves it there. “Trust me, James. You are  _ not  _ of any danger in this house. I promise. You and Thomas and I will all be safe. There is nothing to worry about.”

 

After a shaky nod from the ex-assassin, Penny leads him into the house. She puts the bags on the couch, having James place all but his bags next to them, and guides him into her office. It’s a lovely office and to the right of her desk is a large case requiring both a key and a password.

 

She deliberately shows James where the keys are, walking slowly and making it obvious about where she’s grabbing. She doesn’t have to worry about Thomas coming in and seeing- despite his curious nature, Thomas knows better than to disobey his mother. He’ll be upstairs until Penny comes to get him.

 

Eyes follow her as she takes the keys from a compartment on her desk and walks over to the safe. With a small wave of her hand, James is at her side, watching the number she inputs. Penny knows it’s crazy, giving an ex Hydra assassin the combination to her safe, but she doesn’t have very important stuff in there. Not in this safe. Never in this safe.

 

Really, the only things in there are some spare keys to her cars, some cards, and her most prized jewelry. Her most important items are somewhere much safer- somewhere only her and FRIDAY know of.

 

“You can put them in here, sweetie,” Penny tells him, once more berating herself for using the endearment. Again, though, James doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Stepping forward, James slowly sets the bag of weapons down in the safe, pushing it towards the back left corner. “Thank you.” He mumbles once more, stepping away from Penny and the shelf.

 

“You will have access to these only if you truly need them. If any other time you want them, please let me know. We need to trust each other in order for all of this to work out, but right now, I just really want Thomas to be safe. And I can’t ensure that if you don’t talk and share with us.” Penny tells him, keeping her voice warm and affectionate, not wanting James to think of this as another Hydra prison with no freedom.

 

James looks Penny in the eyes, his own wide and honest. “I promise, Penny. I’ll tell you if I feel the urge. I’d never risk your son’s safety.”

 

“Thank you, James. That means a lot to me.” Penny locks the safe again, replaces the keys and ushers James out of the office. They walk towards the stairs and Penny sees a blink of red and then hears Thomas purposefully making noise in his room after dashing in there. Penny shakes her head, a bright smile appearing on her face.

 

She leads James up the stairs but turns left instead of right, heading for Thomas’s room.

 

The door is still slightly open and Penny can hear Thomas inside. She pushes the door open and steps inside, crossing her arms as she stares at the boy playing with a toy robot on the floor. “Thomas Washington. What have I said about running in the house?” She asks.

 

Thomas looks up at her sheepishly, his eyes flicking behind Penny to James for a moment. “Sorry, Mama. I was just curious.”

 

Penny sighs and kneels down so that her eyes meet Thomas’s. “It’s alright, baby. I know things are weird right now but I promise they’re going to get better.”

 

Thomas looks behind her again, this time his eyes staying on James. “Is he staying here?” He asks.

 

“Yes, he is. So I want you on your best behaviour. I think you’ll help James so much in his recovery.”

 

“Recovery?” Thomas asks, looking back at his mother. “From what?”

 

Penny thinks for a moment but quickly comes up with an answer. “James was in the army, sweetheart, and he’s having some trouble remembering everything.”

 

“He has a metal arm.”

 

“I know. But that’s just another thing we’ll be able to help him with. He went through a lot and I know you’ll be good for him.”

 

Thomas eyes James. “Are you dangerous?” The question isn't entirely unexpected and Penny twists around to look at James as well.

 

The man seems to be considering the question before his eyes meet Tony’s. “Probably.”

 

Tony nods. “That's okay. I've read up on PTSD at school. I'll be able to help you with it.” His voice is earnest.

 

“Thank you,” James replies.

 

“Just know that if you hurt my mother I'll hurt you back worse “

 

Penny gasps at Thomas and gives his head a light smack. “Thomas.”

 

“No. It's okay. I understand.”

 

Thomas continues to eye James, not at all trusting this strange man. He studies him closely, looking him up and down. His gaze lingers a bit on the metal arm but doesn’t remain there too long.

 

“How old are you?” Thomas asks strangely.

 

James shrugs. “I have no idea.”

 

Thomas nods anyway. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m the older one. I was here first. That means I’m the boss.”

 

Penny opens her mouth, ready to reprimand her boy for being so mean, when, surprisingly, James laughs. “Whatever you say, kid.”

 

Thomas pouts. “I am not a kid. I’m 10.” He corrects.

 

“Sure.” James smiles.

 

Penny looks between the two, a wide smile spread across her face. What a strange turn of events. Usually, her baby is so shy with new people- especially with new people that look as dangerous as James. But he seems so comfortable with him already, if not still wary of the metal arm, dirty face, and overall strangeness.

 

Then again, her baby always has been a strange one.

 

Penny loves him.

 

Thomas beams back at James. “You seem better already, James.”

 

Yeah. Penny’s baby is wonderfully strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, I know, and I'm so sorry. As an apology, I made this chapter pretty long for you all.
> 
> Also, yes I saw Infinity Wars, yes I loved it, but no, this story will not include anything of it so you don't have to worry about spoilers.
> 
> Enjoy and feel free to leave comments!

James settled into the small family easily. The man was damaged, there were not two ways about it, and more often than not he tried spending the time in his room with the lights off and the curtains pulled tight.  _ ‘I just want to be alone,’ _ He’d told them after Thomas had demanded why his new friend hadn’t come out for a good day. The pout Thomas had on his face for the rest of the day was pretty adorable, Penny had to admit.

 

Yet, the ex-assassin didn’t get his way: that very next day, Thomas was picking the lock for James’s room and forcing his way inside. He’d grabbed James by the collar of his shirt, surprising the man with his show of strength, and dragged him outside. It was still very cold out and it was snowing a bit, so Penny couldn’t help but let out a fond laugh as her baby tossed James a blanket to wrap around himself.

 

“We’re building a snowman,” Thomas declared, already on the floor, rolling and packing snow together.

 

James had only paused momentarily, looking back at the house. Penny gave him a great smile and nodded, encouraging him to just let loose and go with it. James looked down at Thomas, who was now staring up at James with such an honest expression, before wrapping the blanket around himself, tying it loosely, and dropping to his knees beside Thomas.

 

They were like that for a while; James and Thomas outside building snowmen, and Penny standing by the kitchen window, watching them. She was still so wary of James- so afraid that he would suddenly lash out and strike her baby, or that he was only here to lead HYDRA to Penny and Thomas, or that he was only trying to build Thomas’s trust so that he could take him without a fight, despite James’s promise of having escaped Hydra and her own promises that James and Thomas and Penny would be safe- but already, it had been over two weeks and the worst thing James had done was scream everyone awake after a terrible nightmare and proceed to trash his room. It took Thomas and Penny two whole hours to calm the man down after that particular flashback.

 

Every other flashback James had, he would just sit there with his eyes wide open, lost inside his own mind, trapped within the terrors he had undergone. The young man was scarred and damaged and afraid, just like any person who suffered like he did.

 

Yes, Penny feared that James had alternate intentions here, but she still tried to help him to recover, providing anything he needed to get him there.

 

And now Thomas was helping. His pulling James outside to play was only the beginning.

 

The next day, after Thomas got back from school and Penny from work, he pulled James out of his room and forced him to have dinner with the two. After that, he made him “help” with his homework- really Thomas had the man doing the writing while Thomas told him what to put; Penny’s boy really hated doing his homework.

 

A day after that, Thomas tugged James along to go shopping with them, insisting that James should pick out his own clothes instead of the thick sweaters and loose jeans Penny bought him just to get him by.

 

James had a hat on, insisting that someone would recognize him, but Penny assured him, after pulling him outside so that Thomas wouldn’t hear, that he would be safe with them. If recognized at all, Penny would keep him safe.

 

Out in the town, with bags in hand, James got a haircut. It was cut short, styled nicely to go along with his surprisingly young features and now smooth face, curling a bit wildly at the top after it dried. Thomas absolutely loved the haircut, even insisting he should get the same one because  _ ‘that’s what brothers do, Mama, they match.’  _ That particular comment earned the young boy a shocked smile from James and a watery, uncertain smile from Penny.

 

Her baby was just so innocent and young.

 

Thomas was right, though, with both boys hair curling at the top, Thomas’s more so than James’s, they were adorable.

 

Penny’s heart ached.

 

This was just the thing about Thomas, though: Penny has kept him so safe and closed off from the horrors of the world that he had to deal with the first time around, that he really was far too innocent for his well-being. He didn’t know how dangerous James was or what he’s been forced to do or who he really was. To Thomas, James was just a boy who was damaged and alone and needed their help. Thomas didn’t know that he should be fearing this man, should be ready for a fight at any moment. No, Penny’s baby just saw James as a friend and now, a brother.

 

That’s what really surprised Penny. James has only been with them for a few weeks at this point. Penny really hadn’t meant for the two of them to get this close. She certainly didn’t mean for Thomas to start thinking like this. Especially not so soon.

 

That night after dinner, when Thomas was sitting on his bed reading, Penny approached him. James is already in his room with the lights off and the door closed, but Penny doubts he’s sleeping, so she shuts Thomas’s door.

 

“We need to talk, Thomas.”

 

“Sure,” Thomas says, smiling wickedly at his mother. Penny smiles back, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Thomas sets his book down, giving Penny his complete attention. “What is it?”

 

“Thomas, what you said about James today… Do you really feel that way?” Penny asks, keeping her voice soft. At his puzzled face, she explains. “Do you really think of him as a brother?”

 

Thomas looks down. “Well, I read about brothers and what they mean in a few books and found some stuff online that said brothers are always there for each other when you need them and they always help each other during bad days and they are always around each other and they’re friends. And they always have each other’s backs and are willing to help you when you need it.” Thomas blurts, looking Penny in the eyes now. “It took me a few days but I realized that that’s what me and James have been doing. We’ve been there for each other, like when James tries to lock himself in his room or he has an episode. I’m the one who's been there to help calm him down and get him to come back out. Or when we go play outside and I don’t have to worry about slowing down or not playing so roughly, because James understands that I’m different and I can do things kids really shouldn’t. But he understands because he’s the same way. We’re brothers, that’s what everything says. Is it… Is it wrong?”

 

After he’s finished, Penny just takes a minute to  _ look  _ at her boy. He looks incredible small as he sits there in his pajamas, fiddling with his blanket as he bites his lip. He’s such an innocent boy and Penny hates to take this away from him, but… Thomas deserves the truth.

 

“Thomas, baby,” Penny says, scooting up the bed a bit further to rest her hand on Thomas’s bony knee. “I know you love having James around but, baby, he’s not…  _ permanent.  _ James was just supposed to come here to recover. And he has. I didn’t intend for you two to get so close, and I’m sorry that I continued to let you guys get closer, Thomas. James was sick and you did your part in helping him get better, but soon, James  _ will  _ have to leave.”

 

“ _ What? _ ” Thomas yelps. His eyes are sharper now, a crease forming in between his eyebrows. “What do you mean? Leave? James can’t leave.”

 

Penny sighs. “Thomas-”

 

“No!” Thomas shouts, and Penny can only gape. Thomas has  _ never  _ raised his voice to his mother. “I don’t want some excuse! I’ve heard you two whispering and I know you don’t want him  to leave just because ‘he’s better.’ I want to know the truth. What is so wrong with James that he can’t stay here, where we are clearly the ones who are good for him?”

 

He’s standing now, having pushed his mother’s hand off of his leg. His arms are crossed and he’s backed away from Penny and towards his door.

 

Penny has never seen him like this. He’s gotten angry before, just like any kid, but he has never gotten angry  _ at  _ Penny. Thomas is such a well-behaved boy that Penny’s seeing him like this actually has her worried.

 

But she supposes, this is her fault. Thomas had been so  _ happy. _ He and James had gotten insufferable in the past few weeks and Penny just sprung this news on him without warning. And she should have known, with how special Thomas is, that he’d have heard or noticed some of James and Penny’s conversations.

 

She has lied to her baby boy, hidden stuff from him. And she can’t blame anyone other than herself for his sudden outburst.

 

Swallowing a heavy lump in her throat, Penny stands, smoothing her hands down her dress before folding them across her stomach. Thomas watches her the whole time, his eyes suspiciously bright. “I’m sorry Thomas,” She says quietly. “I have been keeping things from you and I really shouldn’t have. I should have told you the truth from day one.”

 

Thomas raises an eyebrow. “And what’s the truth?”

 

Penny swallows thickly and her heart aches, but she does not take her eyes off of Thomas’s.

 

She takes a breath, opens her mouth, and tells him.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


It’s 1 in the afternoon and Thomas still hasn’t come out of his room. After their conversation last night, Thomas had asked Penny to leave him alone for a little while. Penny had, understanding that her boy needed space.

 

Penny told him all that she could last night: James had been taken by terrible people who forced him to do terrible things for them. The name Hydra never came up, neither did all of what James had been forced to do, but Penny did tell him why James was enhanced like he was and why he had a metal arm and why he was so confused about so many, everyday things.

 

For only having seen things like this on television- not much because Penny didn’t want her baby exposed to all of that just yet, but there were times that beautiful boy of hers got what he wanted with those large eyes of his- Thomas had responded much better than expected, But it was still, of course, overwhelming for the ten-year-old.

 

On top of that, Thomas usual cheery attitude was very noticeably absent: for the past few hours all James and Penny have been doing was sitting on the couch with the television on in front of them.

 

Neither of them was really watching it; they were both lost in their own heads, worried about Thomas. When Hames had come out of his room this morning, he admitted to Penny at having still heard most of their conversation through the walls. They hadn’t really spoken despite Penny’s announcement that they needed to.

 

“Do you really want me to go?” James asks suddenly, startling Penny despite his soft, unsure tones.

 

“It is an option. You are healing very well here and I’m so proud of you, but I am afraid that we are still holding you back in your recovery,” Penny admits. “You have been through so much; you do still need so much help. More than we can provide by just being with you.”

 

James nods. “I understand. If you want me to go, I will.”

 

“James, sweetheart, it’s not a matter of me wanting you to go. It’s a matter of me wanting you to get better,” Penny gently corrects.

 

Again, James nods his head. “But you said it yourself,” He says, looking at his hands. “I’m better now. With you guys. Do I really have to go?”

 

“No.”

 

Both heads whip around to the top of the stairs, where Thomas is kneeling, holding tight to the banister. He’s looking down at them through the rails, a notebook clenched between the wood and his palms.

 

The two of them shoot to their feet and rush to stand at the bottom of the stairs, fingers white as they grip the railing tightly, staring up at the boy. Penny speaks; “Thomas, Baby,” She breathes.

 

Shaking his head, Thomas meets his mother’s gaze. “Please, Mama. Just hear me out.”

 

“Okay, Thomas. Okay.” Penny says. Thomas is still hurting, she can tell; his eyes are still red and swollen and his cheeks are still stained with tears. He probably hadn’t slept either, considering he's still wearing his PJs.

 

Beside her, James stands still, staring at the fragile boy standing at the top of the stairs.

 

“I-I came up with… something. It’ll- It should help James get better,” Thomas announces, stuttering in his nervous, saddened state. “They work like a sort of therapy… I guess. James can pretty much relive something, but make it into what he wants. So all the bad things will kind of… go away. If-If- If James uses this, then he’ll be better a lot quicker and he won’t be dangerous anymore. He’ll be able to stay.”

 

By the time he finishes, Thomas’s eyes are wet again, but his voice stays strong, face determined.

 

“How?” James asks the boy. “What is it?”

 

“Well, assuming I can actually find all of the materials, they’ll pretty much just be a pair of glasses. When wearing them, the user can have pretty much anything around them virtualize itself into that memory- as if it always belonged there- to give that… scene a sense of reality. With them, we’ll be able to give you… closure, in a way. You’ll be able to recover with them.” Thomas explains.

 

Penny is amazed. Her baby was a genius, and he’d always had a knack for the mechanics and robotics, when he wasn’t studying medicine, of course, but this was just beyond amazing. But here he, a ten-year-old boy, in a matter of hours, has come up with an entire system that will help a man he’s known for only weeks.

 

“How did-” Penny swallows. “How did you come up with this?”

 

A shrug. “I don’t really know. I was just trying to think of a way to help James. I did a lot of research on PTSD and anxiety disorder and OCD. All of those are really similar and when I really started thinking about it, this is what came to mind. It will help all of those and more. After the research, it didn’t actually take me very long to figure out the mechanic. I’ve just been up there trying to decide if it was worth showing you.”

 

At that admission, Penny’s heart aches. “I am so sorry, Baby. I know I hurt you, but I thought that if we sent James away somewhere else, he’d maybe be able to get the actual help he needs.”

 

“But he won’t need that if he has these. They’ll help him more than any person could.”

 

“If you can actually get these to work, without any harm to you or James, then yes, Baby, he can stay,” Penny tells him. “But you can’t really test it. What if either of the two of you gets hurt?”

  
  
  


Surprisingly, it’s James who speaks. “I can handle it. If it means I can finally heal, then it’s worth it.” Penny eyes him, so James raises his hands. “Please, Penny. If it doesn’t work, then I’ll leave. But at least give me a chance?”

 

Closing her eyes for a moment to just breathe, Penny opens them again to look between the boys. “I don’t want to see you get hurt… But I also don't want to see you go. You’ve filled in a hole we didn’t even know we had. I just wanted what’s best for you.”

 

“Being here, with the both of you, is what’s best for me. Whether or no this machine works shouldn’t matter,” James says. “You two are all I got. Even if I remember, I still won’t  _ have  _ anyone.”

 

With large, wet eyes, that Penny has never been able to say no to, Thomas pleads. “Please, Mama.”

 

The both of them look so lost and hopeful that Penny’s heart actually aches for them. Thomas wants James to stay, James wants to say, Penny wants James to stay. It’s only been weeks, but James is their family. Unknowingly, he’d wedged himself between Thomas and Penny’s unbreakable bond, forming a trio where it had just been two.

 

James was her's now. Her’s in the sense that she and Thomas were James’s.

 

“Okay,” She whispers, watching as both sets of eyes widen. “Okay, Thomas… Okay.”

 

Penny has never seen Thomas smile so brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
